The Amazing Cucumber
Really, itís not all that amazing.
Here is the piece that landed in my inbox (the
original text is in dark blue, my responses are capitalized in
I did not know all of this, did
you?.......................worth a read!
NO, ITíS NOT.
1. Cucumbers contain most of the vitamins you need every
day, just one cucumber contains Vitamin B1, Vitamin B2, Vitamin B3,
Vitamin B5, Vitamin B6, Folic Acid, Vitamin C, Calcium, Iron,
Magnesium, Phosphorus, Potassium and Zinc.
BUT IN SUCH POOR AMOUNTS YOU'D HAVE TO EAT A
BUSHEL TO GET YOUR DAILY REQUIREMENT
2. Feeling tired in the afternoon, put down the caffeinated soda and
pick up a cucumber. Cucumbers are a good source of B Vitamins and
Carbohydrates that can provide that quick pick-me-up that can last
NOPE....ONLY 5.8 GRAMS CARBS, AND YOU'D HAVE TO
EAT 20 CUCUMBERS TO GET EVEN CLOSE THE RIDICULOUSLY LOW RDA FOR B
3. Tired of your bathroom mirror fogging up after a shower? Try
rubbing a cucumber slice along the mirror, it will eliminate the fog
and provide a soothing, spa-like fragrance.
I TRIED THIS ON HALF THE MIRROR. AFTER A SHOWER
ONLY THE PART WITH THE CUCUMBER FOGGED UP.
4. Are grubs and slugs ruining your planting beds? Place a few
slices in a small pie tin and your garden will be free of pests all
season long. The chemicals in the cucumber react with the aluminum
to give off a scent undetectable to humans but drive garden pests
crazy and make them flee the area.
NO ONE IN THE SCIENTIFIC
COMMUNITY GAVE THIS ANY CREEDENCE.
5. Looking for a fast and easy way to remove cellulite before going
out or to the pool? Try rubbing a slice or two of cucumbers along
your problem area for a few minutes, the phytochemicals in the
cucumber cause the collagen in your skin to tighten, firming up the
outer layer and reducing the visibility of cellulite. Works great on
IF YOU VISIT A SPA, THEY
WILL PUT CUCUMBERS OVER YOUR EYES TO GET RID OF THE DARK BAGS. DON'T
DO A THING FOR WRINKLES, AND IF YOU WANT TO REMOVE CELULITE, GET A
REBOUNDER AND EXERCISE.
6. Want to avoid a hangover or terrible headache? Eat a few
cucumber slices before going to bed and wake up refreshed and
headache free. Cucumbers contain enough sugar, B vitamins and
electrolytes to replenish essential nutrients the body lost, keeping
everything in equilibrium, avoiding both a hangover and headache!!
AGAIN....NOT ENOUGH B
VITAMINS TO DO A THING, NOT ENOUGH SUGAR, AND THE ELECTROLYTES ARE
TOO LOW (ESPECIALLY IF GROWN CONVENTIONALLY).
7. Looking to fight off that afternoon or evening snacking binge?
Cucumbers have been used for centuries and often used by European
trappers, traders and explores for quick meals to thwart off
YEAH, EUROPEAN TRAPPERS ALL
CARRIED FOURTY POUNDS OF CUCUMBERS IN THEIR BACK PACKS. THIS IS
HOGWASH. I RESEARCHED THE HISTORY OF THE CUCUMBER, JUST FOR LAUGHS,
AND WHEN IT WAS FIRST DISCOVERED, IT WAS FED TO PIGS. IT TOOK YEARS
FOR HUMANS TO ACTUALLY TRY IT.
EUROPEAN EXPLORERS MOST LIKELY CARRIED MEAT THAT
WAS DRIED AND SALTED.
8. Have an important meeting or job interview and you realize that
you don't have enough time to polish your shoes? Rub a freshly cut
cucumber over the shoe, its chemicals will provide a quick and
durable shine that not only looks great but also repels water.
NOT EVEN GOING TO TRY
9. Out of WD 40 and need to fix a squeaky hinge? Take a cucumber
slice and rub it along the problematic hinge, and voila, the squeak
CUCUMBERS HAVE A WATER
BASE. WD 40 IS OIL BASED. WHICH WOULD YOU PREFER?
10. Stressed out and don't have time for massage, facial or visit to
the spa? Cut up an entire cucumber and place it in a boiling pot of
water, the chemicals and nutrients from the cucumber with react with
the boiling water and be released in the steam, creating a soothing,
relaxing aroma that has been shown the reduce stress in new mothers
and college students during final exams.
IíVE YET TO FIND ONE
MOTHER OR COLLEGE STUDENT THAT HAS USED THIS, AND NO ONE IN
AROMATHERAPY HAS EVER HEARD OF THIS.
11. Just finish a business lunch and realize you don't have gum or
mints? Take a slice of cucumber and press it to the roof of your
mouth with your tongue for 30 seconds to eliminate bad breath, the
phytochemcials will kill the bacteria in your mouth responsible for
causing bad breath.
HOGWASH. CHEW SOME PEELU
12. Looking for a 'green' way to clean your faucets, sinks or
stainless steel? Take a slice of cucumber and rub it on the surface
you want to clean, not only will it remove years of tarnish and
bring back the shine, but is won't leave streaks and won't harm you
fingers or fingernails while you clean.
OK, IíM GOING TO LEAVE
THIS ONE UP TO MY READERS. YOU TELL ME IF THIS WORKS. IíM STILL
TRYING TO GET THE COCA COLA OUT OF EVERYTHING I TRIED THAT ONE ON
WHEN THE FAMOUS VIRAL COKE MAIL HIT MY INBOX.
13. Using a pen and made a mistake? Take the outside of the cucumber
and slowly use it to erase the pen writing, also works great on
crayons and markers that the kids have used to decorate the walls!!
YEAH, RIGHT. THIS WAS EASY TO TEST. DOES NOT
REMOVE INK, I HAVE NEITHER CRAYONS NOR KIDS, SO I CANíT TEST THAT.
HOWEVER, IíM PRETTY SURE THAT IT WONíT REMOVE WAX CRAYONS FROM A
Pass this along to everybody you know who is looking for better and
safer ways to solve life's everyday problems.
Editorís Note: a cucumber
is not about to solve your everyday problems. If the person who
fills my inbox with this crapola were sitting next to me, Iíd know
exactly what Iíd want to do with a cucumber. However, if you really
want to make someoneís day and give them the gift of laughter, how
about getting someone on your Christmas list a copy of
Why Cucumbers Are Better Than Men?